Through a haze

There is a quaintness about small little things. They seem fragile and inconspicuous at first but more often than not have delicate details etched into them. It is as if they quietly ask for scrutiny because of their size. A scrutiny that would be unnecessary if they were a big thing. The tiniest matrushka doll, a day old kitten's face, English miniatures displayed in a shop-window....these can have me gazing forever. I do not tire of seeking out each line of paint, each purple vein, each tiny dot....as the case in question possesses. In short, I like small things....no not even small....little tiny things. Be it natural or created, I always find something  more to appreciate in something which is tiny and catch myself marvelling at it. This maybe true because I have never been an ardent supporter of 'the bigger the better' genre of thinking. It is not just advertising...it is a way of life. It is a way of defining ones self. So given the choice between a whale of a tim...

This post is to eulogise, and not criticize, boredom. That state of dullness and utter sobriety that drives most mindless.....well....I have craved for it! In the days filled with frenetic activity, pressing deadlines and incessant demands on my 'me' time I have caught myself missing boredom intensely. Whether it was daydreaming on buses while travelling to a meeting or while hurriedly having a self-cooked meal before it was time-to-get-back-to-work again....I would get this longing-tinged image of myself having a classic boring day. Now when I do have days that are by normal standards: boring, I actually end up enjoying them too much. I remind my lazy self that days like these are to be savoured and not grumbled about. So, in effect, the entire concept of 'boredom' per se has disappeared. There are just days that are emptier in content than others and it is days like this that I hold close.

And there are so many reasons to feel indignant. It is that completely balanced mix of anger and contempt for something that is viewed as unworthy of anything but one's basest abhorrence. The issue provoking it has to be of enough significance to evoke the feeling because indignation is quite contrary to indifference. It shows that one cares enough to feel negatively and  by itself is a strong feeling. There are moments when just anger does not suffice. The overwhelming logic of why one is feeling angry mitigates the anger itself and turns it into something a little less sharp but no less strong. Issues based on moral judgement or encounters that bring out disgust tinged with vexation would be good examples. Arguing against an obtuse opponent who refuses to see reason or admit defeat comes to mind as does an incident where an individual who had kicked a stray dog tried to defend his action. The nuances in feelings, even if negative ones...just keep getting lost! Here's ...

Dear Life, I used to want to grow up and speed up your pace but as the years passed I found that time was flying by. A lazy fish by nature I found myself swimming mostly with the tide as it was too effortful to swim against it. As you dictated the terms I found myself an obedient being. The questions and doubts that arose were waylaid and forgotten. Just as soon as one goal was reached another was set. I had direction when working towards something and was clueless and miserable when not. The people and places that arose in the content of your story I found easy to deal with. I understand how to deal with people and places I am not intimidated by. A traveller within, I am comfortable uprooting and relocating, provided in my mind I know your purpose behind the changes. No two people are alike and my uniqueness lies in my quiet passive defiance to chase anything.....neither people nor things. I probably just only crave for experiences from you and nothing else. Slowly growing within me...

I admit to being very aware of vibes. Most of all I like feeling the vibes that a city exudes. In my mind I compare it to the other cities I have visited (have to shame-facedly admit that the list is not too long!) and form a wispy mental character the place. I am also very aware that my opinion is subjective, biased and possibly conjectural.....and yet I catch myself doing this with every new city that I visit. Cities have character. They are mostly melting pots in which diverse elements add their own distinctive flavours. The alchemy of this mixture determines the character of the city. Sometimes the mixture is appealing and sometimes it is not. That totally depends on the person doing the experiencing. But no two cities give off the exact same vibes....no matter how similar.  Pre-conceived notions about what to expect from a city has ruined many a trip for me. So now I try to banish such notions from my mind before I set foot in a new city. I close my eyes and open them t...

Clarity. How completely it is lauded and how rarely it is encountered! As long as the achievable remains at a distance there is something to strive for. The inner compass points at what it believes to be clear...to be right....to be true and a mental gauge measures the distance left to be covered to reach that state. Oddly enough, these distances and directions shimmer and shift shape like a mirage. Appearing and disappearing in accordance to the mind's whims and fancies. Complete clarity is utopia. Not every thought can be put into words and neither can it be shared. But attempting clarity might constitute the last vestiges of sanity to some. Imagine living in a world of walls made of light...where nothing can be touched and the glare hurts the eye. Pure clarity might just end up being a self-defeating prospect.