Talking to a Believer



It is no secret that I am a non-believer. I do not believe in a higher power or any creationist ideas. But I am tolerant of others' faiths. I am, however, open to the possibility of changing my mind someday; though, let the record show that I am not in search for said change.

It was a strange conversation that I had with someone close to me who is a believer, one fine morning. I call it strange because I felt that I was facing a thick strong wall that was passing judgement on me and my beliefs. The worst of these was pity. She pitied my lack of faith, my inability to see that my life 'has purpose' and is part of the 'bigger picture'. And surprise of all surprises, during a logical debate, where I explained my reasons for aetheism, she shed tears for me. For my ignorance and inability to see the world as she saw it. That was when I felt scared.

This surfeit of emotion, this fervour was something I lacked. In my cold detached beliefs regarding the absence of faith there was no room for emotion. You either understood me or you did not and either way it did not affect me. But, on the opposing end was someone who was so moved by my plight as a a person who has cut loose from the moorings of faith, that they were shedding tears on my behalf. To her, she verbalised, I was blind. There was a thick curtain over my eyes and a leaden seal over my heart.

And all this because I had said that I do not believe in a Judgement Day or in Heaven and Hell. That I believe when we die we cease to exist and that is the end of that. That good deeds should not be done for the lure of the proverbial carrot of heavenly redemption and bad deeds avoided for the fear of fires of eternal purgatory. Oh the look of pity in her eyes! I was a lost cause! I am a lost cause!







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